Soooo surprise I'm back in the US for 16 days, but that's not what I wanted to talk about.
Coming back has been both amazing and not so amazing. It's made me think of all the people I left behind. My old life. My family. My friends.
Soo the first couple of days I actually started thinking about moving here to Kennewick and go to the college here for 1-2 years so I could hang out more with this family and just because this really felt like home. I started looking up the technicalities of moving here and talked to my australian host sister about it since she moved here. It seemed like such a great idea. Although I felt kinda horrible for "leaving" my family in Sweden for a while but I know they would support me.
Then I realized how conservative this city is and how many times I had just wanted to hit something really hard during my exchange year because I was so frustrated with how conservative people were. I'm so lucky to live in a country (Sweden) where being gay is okay and legal (marriage),where every sexuality is accepted (not 100%, but you're probably not gonna get in big trouble for not being straight), where abortion is a given choice, where women are a lot more equal to men than in a lot of othe rcountries (including the US), where it's okay to talk about sexaulity and genitals from a pretty young age, where there are a lot of mixed gender bathrooms, where we believe in doing the best for the environment, where a lot of people are vegetarians and that's okay, where race when applied to human beings don't exist cause it's scientifically proven to not exist, where it's illegal to spank or in any other way physically punish a child, where most people question religion and doesn't just believe what their parents or county believes and takes that for being the truth, where we talk about gender, sex and accpetance in school, where boys can wear pink and girls can like cars, and I could really go on forever.
Of course all these things don't apply in all cases or everywhere in Sweden but it's generally true. Well I thought about these things and I finally told myself to accept the consevativeness here ,and knows, if I moved here maybe I'd be able to change a mind or two.
And then today happened. The presidential election. I'm upset beyond words. It all started out as a joke and trust me Europe still thinks it's a joke. No one can understand how this happened. I'm honestly not that surprised tho. I know that people vote for him because they don't like either one and they want change. But honestly. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY THAT ARE SO CONSERVATIVE THAT THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE DIRECTON THIS COUNTRY IS GOING, gay marruage as an example. So many conservatives that wants to make abortions illegal, so many poeple who wants to go back a 100 years to a time where women and minoriteies were being treated horribly and where being anything other than straight was a mental disorder that could be cured. AND IT'S SO MESSED UP. And hey I also know that you guys are upset with how your country works and that a lot of votes for this "winner" were votes aginst how the United States is being run and yeah I get that. But America.. you guys don't seem to understand that you have sooo much power and you guys electing president is such a huge responsibility because you guys pratically rule the world. This is not a joke.
And this is where I come to my second part of this post. My whole life I've adored America and I know I'm faaaar from the only one. So many people in this world adores the US and this country has huge effects and impacts on us. I myself have been looking up to this country for a long time, but it wasn't until I moved here that I realized how far this country has to go before it's even close to Sweden or any other Scandinavian/Some European countries when it comes to social issues and it just made me really dissappointed. Had I really been looking up to a country that stood for the exact opposite as I did. A country where they still sort people in to races, where you can spank your child, where in many places being a part of the LGBTQI+ community is seen as something bad or weird, where guys have to like cars and girls have to love pink, It was like going back soo many years, Grow up America.
Following this election today and having seen the result has made me realize I could never move here. The conservativeness and the number of conservatives here makes me sick. I refuse to live in a country where the President is against abortion and gay marriage, harasses women on an almost daily basis. makes fun of disabled people, are against minorities, is a racist and sexist, encourages countries to produce nukes, and I could really go on forever but I know that everyone knows what he's done and said and just thinking about it makes me sick. I refuse to live in a country that stands for hate.
And yes I do know that Hillary is awful in so many ways and there is no excuse for that. But seriously, America is already a lot behind when it comes to social issues and now you guys wanna go back even more years?
I have never in my entire life been this dissapointed in anyone or anything. I used to love this country but now I have no idea what to think anymore. I'm just so dissappointed.
I know my opinion isn't that important when it comes to the bigger picture but I really had to get this out because I'm going crazy.
I'm so sorry that this happened to this country that was finally going the right way. I'm scared.
Obama, you will be missed. Thank you for everything.
(And I don't want to offend peopel with this, I just had to get it out)